Nov 02, 2025: eeeeeeeemma

Today we have a guest wizard joining the fun: eeeeeeeemma. She wrote this as her college essay and when I asked if she wanted to add an introductory paragraph, she said "Nah I think it can speak for itself".

I hate death. It's honestly shocking that autumn is my favorite season. The nature is so amazing; the trees are constantly morphing into something new. Despite the fact that it appears trees are dying in the winter, they are still very much alive. The days grow shorter, the ground begins to freeze, trees shed their leaves and prepare themselves to survive another winter. Not dead, simply dormant. And when the ground begins to thaw, they come back more radiant with each passing spring. I don’t see autumn as a time of death. I see it as a chance for new life.

Like those autumn trees, I often start to deteriorate in the fall. The pit in my stomach and the bricks in my chest had burdened me all year, although the stress had worsened come September. The anxiousness was nothing out of the ordinary for me - expected even. It was half past four and I was sitting on an old velvet couch with my mom right beside me. My dad was across from me, and although I wasn't close to him, I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes. The room was uncomfortably silent, like nobody was sure where to start; I think, secretly, both of my parents were hoping the other would take the lead. When my dad finally spoke, he asked me if I knew why they had sat me down. I looked out the window at the leaves on the ground, and felt the soreness swelling in my throat - the kind you only get when you think you might cry. How do you face the people that raised you, the people who taught you to love yourself no matter what, and tell them you've been harming yourself?

After that talk, my mom immediately started looking for a therapist. I wish I could say the whole 'talking about my feelings' thing came natural to me, but that’s anything but true. Remembering back to middle school, before anyone found out, the thing that sticks out the most to me was my loneliness. I felt so isolated in my own brain, unsure of how I was meant to cope with the feelings I was having. During those times, the trees were my solace. They stood solid and unmoving even under brutal cold and forceful winter winds. The only thing the trees couldn't do was give me advice. Although I don't want others to have to experience what I went through, it has taught me so many things. Because of my experiences I have a unique perspective on compassion and empathy towards those around me. You truly never know what someone is enduring, so I make it a priority to consider the struggles of others before I jump to judgement or hostility. I know I can't help the whole world, but I can make a difference. I'll start small, just one person, one conversation, one little thing to make sure that those around me understand that they are loved. In return, we can all flourish.

For those who may not be aware, this is why I wear bracelets that eeeeeeeemma made me 24/7.

A few have broken over the years, but these have lasted quite awhile. Two she made me, and the third was given to her by the dad of the house she spent time with in Spain.

I told her that if she ever needed me, we can communicate through our bracelets, and that I will be there for her whenever she needs me.