May 20, 2026: decision fatigue

It's gonna be a short one today. When I say empty, I mean that I have decision fatigue. I have no emotional reserves. I feel dead inside. Empty.

I left work today feeling more of that empty. It's just so much some days. Most days.

As I go to close out my day and unplug the the work of it all, one of my favorite people at [redacted] asked if they could bend my ear. They needed to vent. They needed to tell someone just how empty they felt. They needed someone to listen.

I left work, got home, logged back in, and gave them a call. If you need help, I got you.

I was literally going to end there. A trusted cohort just sent me a Teams message asking if I am okay. They probably heard some of the calls I was on. I don't have an office. My dirty laundry gets aired out in public sometimes.

I ran into a different person as I was leaving today and they told me that I handle myself with grace in some obviously difficult situations. They had no idea what calls I was on or what topics I was chatting about. They only knew that it was rough.

I've helped them both at different times in my 7 months there. Multiple times. When I am on empty, they help fill up the tank a little. Sometimes just by asking if I am okay.

I'm okay.